So I didn’t get up this morning for the Spain v. Germany semifinal. A series of very late nights at work counselled against getting up even at the relatively late time of 6.30am, New Zealand time. I just couldn’t do it. And so I recorded the game, and had to watch it sitting at my computer so I could monitor my email and work.
(Yeah, I know: poor dear.)
I wrote already about the dissonance of the delayed coverage, the having to go off the grid because information is everywhere, it’s in the very air we breathe. But try to follow in that manner a game in which nothing happens. It turned out to be a saving grace that this time, half to wallow further in the dissonance, half in preparation of something I might write next week about the World Cup and remediation, I decided to record my impressions of the game on Twitter.
I was surprised to discover after the game was over that this redundant coverage had found an audience, including some of my colleagues here at Minus the Shooting. And so it’s not solely (but let’s face it: mostly) in the spirit of extreme self-indulgence that I reproduce it below.
(At one point of the proceedings, Mark wrote: “reading @gtiso's delayed tweeting on the #ger -#esp game reminds me of the famous quote about Waiting for Godot: nothing happens twice”. Make it three times then.)
Stand by for delayed livetweeting of the Germany v. Spain game
One of the children paired up with the Germans at the anthem towers over Trochowski.
2 min The commentator just revealed the score of the other semifinal. What happened to spoilers?
(The Netherlands won, by the way. Apparently.)
8 min Spain appear to want to do it by walking. Saving themselves for late night post game fun run?
10 min Like watching paint dry so far. Winner meets Pearl Lusta in the final.
15 min Spain brought the ball and they're not letting the German children play. That's bad sharing.
(Also, wait until Adidas hears about this.)
22 min "It's one for the purists here tonight". Translation: the game blows.
30 min Spain shows how you play against Germany. They're young, susceptible to being bored to death.
34 min Boy, they left Villa open with a lifestyle block's worth of space there, pass nowhere near him.
45 min "Gradually, the game began to be something rather more than a mosaic of ill will and sullen fouling." Somebody wrote this about Germany v. Italy of 1982
45 min Gradually, this game is doing no such thing. End of first half. If we had video technology, they'd ask them to replay it.
Spain had never been to a semifinal before. They decided to stick with tradition and not be in one this time either.
Tragic news: the guy who was supposed to put together the first half highlights killed himself. Our thoughts are with his family.
47 min The second half has started. Allegedly.
50 min Xabi Alonso takes a shot and is booked.
51 min "Capdevila always makes himself available". Yeah, not unlike his sister. This game is so boring it's making me sexist.
55 min Commentator guy claims Germany is succeeding in stifling Spain. I would have thought it's the opposite and that Germany came in as heavy favourites
Then again, what the hell do I know?
58 min Oh my God. An actual chance! Villa doesn't connect by a gnat's crotchet. Okay, on replay, maybe two.
63 min What the hell was Podolski doing marking Sergio Ramos? He was lucky not to concede a penalty there.
66 min And we're back to walking. The pace suits Puyol, who's having his portrait painted by a Renaissance master at the back.
69 min Podolski! That was close, the Spanish defence had got its coverage all wrong.
71 min I think I just spotted Samuel Beckett in the crowd.
73 min And just like that Puyol scores! The ball didn't hit his skull at all, just the hair.
75 min I'm going to bore myself just writing it, but Spain has played a game of supreme tactical intelligence so far.
80 min Del Bosque so confident he reckons he can do it with ten men. Torres comes on.
82 min Pedro heard me! He tried to walk it in rather than passing to the wide open Torres. Harsh.
84 min Pedro is taken off and, I must assume, whacked with a ruler by Del Bosque. That was a howler before.
89 min One minute to go. Time added on by my reckoning should be about 80 minutes.
90 min The ref signals just three because he has someplace else to be. I see no other explanation.
93 min Spain has done it! Germany made to look very average. Take a bow, Del Bosque. Take notes, Maradona and Capello. Superb possession football.
Don't get me wrong, still very boring, eh? Tapes of the game to be used as a natural alternative to induce anaesthesia before surgery. But.
Podolski still on the field looking like he's discussing with his mates what just happened. Quite an endearing scene. They'll be back.